We’re totally square
on November 9, 2020 at 1:01 amChapter: This Man-- This Manhattan
Location: The Warners' house
Are Mike’s parents weirdos after all?!?!??!?
A second “GIANT HONEY BUN ATTACKS” newspaper headline seen. I might be hinting at something. HMM. I’m subtle!!!!
I think at the time, I worried the shift from “oh look it’s a nice story about amber meeting mike’s parents” to “SCI FI ACTION HERO SHIT” would feel abrupt, particularly in Shortpacked! as it presented itself at the time, since there really hadn’t yet been any action heroics in it, so here’s me trying to wallpaper over that potential chasm before we got there.
When Dumbing of Age came around, I made sure I had Amazi-Girl show up, punch some dudes, and superhero-leap onto a roof in the first storyline.
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Mr. Warner has the right of it.
Also – C-Sections turn out to be amazingly easy and have a faster recovery time than natural birth. I have had birth mark removal surgery that was more traumatizing.
I mean, it can get wrecked even w/o childbirth =(
but really? I’ve heard from someone who did both that the C-Section was definitely the harder recovery (I mean, you’re cut open!). I wonder if conditions have improved since hers, or if she was in a particularly bad area for it.
Our “natural” birth was 50 hours (yes, over 2 full days) of labor and enough damage that it took 3 months to recover from (not to mention some permanent damage that was never recovered from).
Our C-Section was over in 30 minutes (and that includes getting tubes tied) and while it technically had a 6 week recovery time, things felt mostly back to normal within 3 weeks.
Same doctor and same hospital for both.
YMMV, obviously.
I’m not gonna lie, I’m having an awkward flashback here.
Oh, George, you crack us up. How would Mike know the best way to ride that ample hiney?
(atop bags full of Harriet’s cookies, of course)
Mrs. Warner really wants to make sure Amber has enough cookies.
And this is where I started thinking that Mike’s parents were nice on the outside, but secretly assholes.
Re-reading the story now, I’m getting a pretty different motivation, but when I first started, I didn’t get why they were being so… direct and almost deliberately making things uncomfortable using kind actions/words.
Mike couldn’t have become that way out of thin air. They’re both self-centred, pushy and impose their wants on others, covering that with a veneer of 1950s suburban normalacy. That’s sort of why Mike assumes the same thing about everyone, I think.
Yup, they’re assholes. Mike’s Dad is a creepy sexist, objectifying Amber within earshot. Mike’s Mom does not understand or respect boundaries.
Maybe bad-at-boundaries is not quite as bad as creepy-sexist, but it only goes so far and neither are recommendable.
Mike’s scowl reads: “Dad, there a very few things that I want to discuss with you about Amber. The quality of her ass before and after having a kid is precisely bottom of that list.”
…so you’re saying it’s on the list?
Mike is the sort of guy who tries to be prepared.
SPI Flashback: Ride That Ample Hiney as Long as Logistically Possible
A Walkyverse pornographique by David “You Guys Want Mike Back? FINE!” Willis.