Velcro
on October 10, 2019 at 12:01 amThis comic was based on a slight misunderstanding. See, I’d learn later in the relationship that Maggie was actually fine-ish with me wearing velcro shoes, and her problem was actually that my velcro shoes were garbage even for velcro shoes. And so, trying to be a less embarrassing boyfriend, I bought laced shoes.
And then I kind of rode that laced momentum for like a decade, since mostly I’d try to find whichever shoes at Target had the most orange, and that was never the velcro shoes, so
i just… i just hate tying shoes, folks
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I’ve been using those little plastic spring ties for my shoes for almost a decade now. What I’m trying to say is, you’re not alone in your hate of trying shoes.
I think Facebake does in fact know too much, as this popped up in my feed: https://kizik.com/
(as a result of this strip and thread? who knows)
Honestly kind of surprised shoe laces are still so prevalent. Maybe velcro isn’t ideal but there has to be a better way, we’re generally not tying coats closed.
I’m pretty sure I saw a built-in elastic variety
…they were UGLY, but STILL
You can actually easily replace standard shoelaces with elastic! A friend of mine got some that looked like these, and they work pretty well for him. https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/611wTLn5z-L._SY355_.jpg
I think shoelaces are still around because they let you adjust the width. They can be tied looser or tighter, or laced in different ways. The only other fastener that lets you do that is Velcro. Zippers, buttons, and snaps are all fixed at one size.
In my case I need a wide toe box, to the point where I have to go up a size for that part to be comfortable, but that leaves the rest of the shoe much too wide. I end up having to tighten the laces until there’s enough left over that I have to knot them four or five times to keep them off the ground. This only gets worse as the shoes break in and the padding flattens out. I wouldn’t be able to use those elastic lace replacements because they can’t get tight enough.
(As an aside, “minimal” athletic running shoes actually fit me best overall, but office-friendly colorways are limited in that category. Gray/black Merrells? Okay. Day-glow orange Vibrams? lol no, the all-black ones maybe, but they look so “off” they’ll raise questions no matter how comfortable they are.)
Zippers don’t (well, without, like, doubling and tripling them up), but buttons, snaps, and straps do, unless you’re determined to hide that they’re made for different sizes (and even there, you can do it with snaps).
Actually, hell, you can do it with buttons while hiding it, it just makes it more of a pain in the ass with fasten them.
Needfuldoer, have you considered buying shorter laces and replacing the original ones? If I want women’s shoes, I usually can’t go up a size (I have big feet for an AFAB woman). So, I often end up redoing the lace pattern to allow more room in the toe box.
Hey, if velcro and zippers work for astronauts…
(I say this as someone who uses both velcro and lace shoes myself)
You can always buy grown-up-style leather shoes.
My winter boots have both laces and a zipper.
I can use the laces to adjust the fit, then the zipper to actually get them on/off, which is not only much faster but also I don’t lose whatever fit adjustments I made just by taking them off :p
“i just… i just hate tying shoes, folks.”
You just answered my question about Walky’s perpetually untied shoes.
I tie them once when I buy ’em, and then slip in and out of tied shoes. Once in a while they come loose and I have to retie them, maybe an average of once or twice per pair.
You & me both. I wear laced shoes like their loafers. Hell on the internal heel padding, but using a shoe horn mitigates that.
I’m used to wearing cowboy boots (when I was in school, and in my early 20’s), so I can pull laced shoes off without too much difficulty. Probably because I wear shoes a bit loose (also due to being used to wearing boots).
Nowadays, though, I mainly wear sandals, due to them being even less constricting than boots or regular shoes.
slip-ons
*feet slide out after shedding the required eightish hours of doctor-mandated compression stockings*
…shit
I wear sandals as long as physically possible. Like, if it’s above freezing, then I’m wearing sandals. And then I’m wearing boots. I haven’t tied a shoe (other than my kid’s) in over a decade, maybe two.
If you’re willing to wear socks with sandals, like the Roman legions[1], you can wear them in dry cold. Wool socks, or doubled wool socks, work great as long as there’s not snow around.
[1] “That’s not cool.” “It was cool enough to conquer Europe.”
I double tie that shit and wear ’em like slip-ons. Apparently the shoe-tying method my parents tried to teach me was not the mainline one and I didnt learn that method til I was THIRTEEN.
That news post lead to me getting ads for toddler Spider-man shoes, lol. They were very cute.
I saw a template on a 3D printing page for some pieces you could lace into your shoes that’d let you fasten your shoes like clicking puzzle pieces together. https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:938561
I literally tie my shoelaces just loose enough that I can slip my shoes on and off with them still tied.
These are not your only options! Loafers, sandals, boots that zip — get out there and go crazy . . . .
I quite like the laces you get if you’re running Triathlons. They’re designed to get running trainers off and on as quickly as possible, so they combine the good bits of laces (flexibility over size, mainly) with the advantage of not having to tie laces.
https://triathlonlaces.co.uk/
If anyone asks, you can just say you’re training.
I’ve been using something pretty similar to those Lock Laces for almost a decade, but never knew exactly how to refer to them until today. The main difference being that mine hide the lace ends instead of letting them hang on the front.
I wear boat shoes mostly. No tying laces with boat shoes. But then I also have running shoes for running and you have to tie those laces
Reading these comments got me thinking about the weird variety of shoes I own. My casual and dress shoes are slip-on, my work boots have laces, my cycling shoes have velcro straps, and my motorcycle boots have zippers. It’s probably a good thing I don’t think about it much, or I’d get really confused.
Dr. Scholl’s black shoes w/velcro. We are brothers in this.
I love this comments section. I’m so terrible at tying knots my shoes are always so loosely tied that they come undone really easy. I’ve honestly always been really self conscious about that.
Personally, I’m so tired of my laces coming undone (I have a very heavy gait, which is what tends to cause unlacing) that I’m considering switching to strappy boots.
I wear side zip work boots. They have laces, but I only have to tie them once or whenever I break one of the laces.
My shoe size is 13, and that size is always hard to come by. I seldom get a choice what shoes I get.
i hate velcro because of bad experiences with it and my hair in the past but i also hate tying shoes. so i just never wear non-slip-ons anymore
I like velcro, but I haven’t seen a single velcro shoe in a shoe store for over 25 years now. Do they even exist anymore?
They do exist! My shoes have been exclusively velcro for… ~13 years or so? Have to get new ones about every 2-3 years.
A student exchange in Japan taught me a new and better way!
Every time my host family and I went somewhere, I was always the last one out the door, still sitting down tying his shoes while the rest of them had to stop and wait for me. Took me a few repetitions of this pattern to notice what they were doing different.
They all tied their shoes just loosely enough that they could be slipped on and off like loafers, and did so, and that was quite fine for regular walking around. On the rare occasion they WERE going to do something more athletic, like running, they stopped to tighten the laces on their shoes so that the fit snugly.
I’ve been doing this with my shoes for the last 23 years since I came back.
Dang Japanese people are smart! They may be the original inventors of “Life Hacks”.