Here’s your textbook
on June 16, 2014 at 12:01 amChapter: Leftovers
Characters: Danny Wilcox, Howard Lesse, Jennifer Billingsworth, Joe Rosenthal, Mary Bradford, Ron Brooks, Sarah Clinton
Location: Ruth's house
Mary, of COURSE it’s “you.” You were instructed to walk down the street and LOOK FOR HER CAR. Don’t act so damn shocked.
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PIZZA LAW AND BEER PARTY STARTS NOW
Maybe she was hoping she’d be passed out drunk already?
“Don’t act so damn shocked.” That actually did always bother me.
She was expecting to see Billie’s car by itself, like she’d sold it for beer?
She spent the entire walk practicing her judgmental stare-and-saying-‘YOU’ face. Can’t let it go to waste.
This is my new head-canon.
(Not to be confused with my new head-cannon, which was considerably more expensive.)
Is it good? I’ve been thinking about getting one of those myself.
Danny, stop trying to like Mary! She’s the worrrrrrrst.
Yeah, but next to her, even he looks good.
Ah, so hanging out with Mary is like having an ugly friend so you look better by comparison.
So wait, did Howard pull the door open from the floor, or did the impact with his skull knock the door loose from the frame?
Mary heard him hit the door and just pushed it open, pushing him out of the way with it.
I’m imagining how, like, the door is slightly ajar, but if you throw something light enough at it, it’ll bounce open?
Which isn’t terribly realistic, but it’s funny =D
Originally posted:
November 27, 1999