This is ridiculous.
on December 10, 2017 at 12:01 am
Forgetting you and doing only what he wants isn’t what he wants, Joyce! This is a PARTICIPATION SPORT or it gets kind of gross.
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He’s a dude. You KNOW what he wants. Problem is, it’s more complicated than that because what you want factors into what he wants and you have to want it for him to want it because if you don’t want it he doesn’t want it or he does want it but he doesn’t want to want it.
*brain explodes*
This is one of those comments that really makes me wish this system had a “like” button.
Please don’t perpetuate the stereotype that men always want sex unless they’re 1) mindful of the lady’s feelings (because supposedly women never want sex), or 2) losers, effeminate, etc.
We don’t know what he wants just because he’s a dude.
What Hoodiecrow said. People are more complex than that regardless of their genetalia. Please do not perpetuate sexual double standards; that’s not good for anybody.
I mean, my personal experience says that women always want sex, but you don’t hear me professing that as a universal rule because I know better. You do too, so act like it.
I’m sure he wants to perform a sex with Joyce, but obviously he doesn’t want to do it unless she wants to as well.
Originally posted:
March 29, 2003
Also, this was one of the first couple of, I guess, romance stories that kinda made me think of what the guy wanted in a relationship beyond just purely sex and a white picket fence.
How being “The Perfect Gentleman” is kinda toxic and self-defeating.
If you’re not honest with your S.O. about what you want, you’re both not really understanding what the other wants.
Communication.
It’s important.
Actually, March 30, 2003
And this is what made the Joyce and Walky relationship so special. One was always willing to put the other one forward.
If you will let me bring foth something I once read:
There was this romance manga I once read (Apparently it was a shonen but the plot was so Shojo it hurt).
The basic plot initially started as that old tale of a guy having a crush on a girl and another girl trying to help him and the both of them slowly falling for each other without noticing.
Then we got to the backstory of the female lead and ohh dear. She had trauma with intercourse because her former boyfriend had his friends do a secret recording while they were getting busy in the Gym Locker.
So when the Male lead and the Female lead are finally alone in her room, she has a lot of issues with intimity and not being willing t do it, while the male lead is very sexually frustrated but equally understanding and supportive. The girl notices his frustration and decides that the best way to break through her trauma is asking him to basically rape her, (Paraphrasing here: “Do it, and don’t stop no matter how much I cry and beg you to stop”). The guy is obviously taken out of it, and while she starts undressing them both, he states that he won’t do something to hurt her and he refuses.
She breaks up with him, because she feels it is unfair to him that he has to deal with her hangups about sex.
(Anyone interested, I no longer rememer the name of this manga, it ended about 7-8 years ago I think)
Could the Woker-parts of this fandom analyze this scene for me?
*puts on woke hat*
It sounds like this involves the intersection of the ace (asexual) spectrum and sexual trauma, both of which are extremely complicated topics by themselves, and even more complex when you combine them. Sometimes, sexual (or emotional) trauma can push someone who was allosexual (i.e. not asexual) into the ace spectrum, at least in terms of how their sexuality is expressed. In this case, it sounds like she’s clearly sex-repulsed, and either romantic asexual or romantic demisexual. In either case, rape is unlikely to help, and it would be better to have a frank and understanding conversation with her partner. That means respecting the partner’s physical needs, but it also means respecting their desire to continue or terminate the relationship. If the partner is willing to work with her and be understanding of her situation, I wouldn’t recommend ending the relationship despite his willingness to cooperate. Overruling his desires based on her opinion of what he should really want is a way of infringing on his autonomy. No one should be told to be in a relationship, but no one should be told they don’t want to be in the relationship, either. Whether he wants to stay or go is his call.
If interested in the manga, it is called GE – Good Ending.
As far as I remember, it didn’t APPEAR as asexuality as such as it seemed to be trauma. AFAIK, different people respond to trauma in different ways, some tend to become more promiscuous and some seem to become repulsed.
Joyce, hon, your face in panel two (not to mention your inability to name the act you’re discussing) is not convincing me that you’re ready to go along with whatever Walky wants.
Yes Walky, tell her what you want, what you really, really want.
She’s not asking him to do what he really wants, she’s asking him to say what he really wants, as one should do in a relationship with healthy and open communication.
…is that a photo of Danny on Joyce’s dresser?