The Wedding, Page 2
on August 28, 2021 at 12:01 amChapter: The Wedding
Characters: Becky MacIntyre, David Walkerton, Jason Chesterfield, Joe Rosenthal, Mike Warner, Robin DeSanto, Sal Walters
Location: The Wedding Church
There’s no dialogue! So we get boring strip names.
Anyway, look, it’s a wedding. Extremely Wedding! We’ve got the the Maid of Honor (Becky) and the Best Man (Joe) and the Groom (Walky) and the Wedding Maker Person (Robin), and oh look, it’s Jason and Sal, two more members of the wedding party, escorting each other down the aisle. Thumbs ups are had! Big ol’ meaty-fisted thumbs ups.
Mike is also there.
This may get tedious to tag.
OH RIGHT bc Linda definitely doesn’t qualify to walk her down (can’t speak for Charles)
I guess this is “handing her off”
(idk we didn’t do that bc I could barely stand having thirteen people TOTAL at the wedding)
[also courthouse, what aisle to walk down]
…this only tracks if we assume walky is marrying sal, which
Really hoping that out of all of the futures Head Alien has kids from, none of them had that become a thing.
Which brings up the surprising fact* that Head Alien never brought up a universe where Sal and Walky went full Lannister (even if it’s just a lie to mess with their heads).
*Unless he did and I missed/don’t remember it.
…WOW OKAY
I just realised, every single wedding I’ve attended that had a wedding party, I got confused as shit as to who the bride was, even though the traditional bride wears white, EVEN WHEN I KNOW THE BRIDE VERY WELL I THOUGHT
So maybe there’s something to the “bridesmaids as decoy brides” thing
If even a fake wedding makes me completely forget LITERAL YEARS of lore with the exact same relationships between the exact same characters (being blood siblings) and somehow confuse absolutely disparate characters who on paper look nothing alike (I never would make this mistake in a colour comic I’D LIKE TO THINK)
at least the real-life weddings, I hid my departed IQ points by sitting quietly and smiling
No wonder actual wedding planning gave me such anxiety it took a shitty president to end all shits getting into office to get me into motion (“what if he somehow revoked citizenship for non-whites” kind of panic), I guess I didn’t want to be stupid in front of a billion people
Hmm… regarding the tagging thing, the person sitting behind Mike looks kinda like Agatha, but I’m not sure if either of the people actually getting married know her well enough for her to be invited?
Plus she’s in San Francisco too at this point, so if she were to attend you’d think she might Ultra-Carpool with the SP! gang…
That’s not Agatha, no.
I love the phrase “Ultra-Carpool”

Sal and Jason make an extremely cute couple.
Too bad they are such a hot mess.
Imagine getting married with Mike giving you that look all ceremony long.
Oh, don’t worry.
He’ll have something to punch soon enough.
I’m sure he’d be giving them that look even if they weren’t getting married. It’s his natural scowl.
Couldn’t he do bride and groom a solid by getting drunk before the ceremony?
Could he? Of course. But obviously, he wouldn’t do it willingly. That’s just crazy talk.
I mean, if I invited Mike I’d be expecting it.
Is that Agatha behind Mike?
According to Willis, it isn’t her.
“thumbs up, my duder, i totally didn’t get you almost killed by refusing to locate you until the last minute, that was anti-jason, my evil clone”
“and i definitely didn’t do it because unlike anti-jason, i know you’ve grown from the days when you were just an annoying manbaby. that anti-jason, huh? ugh what a loser, but don’t worry, he’s dead, i shot him in the face”