Slow news day
on October 8, 2019 at 12:01 amChapter: Pluto 9571
Characters: David Walkerton, Jennifer Billingsworth
Location: Joyce and Walky's apartment
A few months into Joyce and Walky! I was like, oh, hey, right, I can also use Billie if I want to. She’s around.
So here’s Billie!
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I *do* remember slow news days! They used to be a thing! I’m not crazy!
These days, all Billie would have to do is just write down which celebrity beef was trending on Twitter and use a headline or lead sentence with the word “slams” in it.
These days, what’s 45 doing
I mean, even if the world doesn’t know he’s basically the savior of humanity, as a former SEMME member, Walky would still be a celebrity, no matter how minor; so any opinion he has could be a headline if spun right. Maybe not a good one, but a headline.
“Alien abductee declares Taco Bell eliminating 7 layer nachos worst atrocity in 20th century”
I dunno that they landed on the side of resurrecting their celebrity Beef. ;-p
Oh, those halcyon days where the biggest news stories were moving trucks hitting low bridges and the weather. Maybe someday they’ll return…
That 24-hour news cycle, huh. I tell ya.
Yay Billie!
Go on Walky, rob a bank for your friend Billie. You know you want to.
Is that even possible these days? Like, at best you could break into some safety deposit boxes?
*checks*
Ok, banks keep like 10% of the total deposits in “real” money, still feels less than lucrative
Robbing banks is for suckers. The average take is ridiculously small compared to the risk. Robbing armored cars is tricky, but it pays a lot better.
Robbing banks can be incredibly profitable, but you have to do it from the inside, preferably as management.
Better yet, rob a whole country of billions by convincing poor people they’re just “temporarily embarrassed millionaires” who should support lower taxes for the wealthy bc ONE DAY IT COULD BE THEM
When was the last slow news day? Like, 2015?
Judging by some of the penny-ante crap they hype on cable news, slow news days are still pretty common.
I don’t remember the last time there was a slow news day. Every day 45 says and/or does something stupid.