Future possible offspring
on October 21, 2019 at 12:01 amChapter: Toe to Toe
Characters: Carol Brown, Charles Walkerton, David Walkerton, Hank Brown, Jared Brown, Jonathan Brown, Jordan Brown, Joyce Brown, Justin Brown, Sal Walters
Location: Joyce's parents' house
jocelyne isn’t there
she’s busy
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“Please let them know with subtlety, because I certainly can’t.”
my mom was only sorta less subtle about it
At least my Dad put his money where his mouth was and bought my wife and I some medical insurance (back before Obamacare fixed that problem for us – yay Obama!) so we could afford to have kids.
Haha I just remembered some guilt tripping
“Are we bad parents because we didn’t raise you to want kids?” (gist)
More like, when did you ever see me interested in nurturing basically anything that wasn’t a cat
Dang it, Carol.
Ah yes when carol was fun and embarrassing and not terrible.
I dunno, I’d say telling your daughter to stop buttfucking in the middle of Thanksgiving prayers is *kinda* terrible.
It’s terrible but it’s terrible in a way that’s over-the-top and funny.
DOA Carol is just… not a good person in a way that hurts.
Yeah but this carols ridiculousness is fun to read. DOA carol just makes me angry.
I find it fairly terrible that Carol’s only concept of birth control is buttsex and pulling out.
No mention of condoms, diaphragms, IUDs, or anything. Almost like she wasn’t aware they existed.
You know, moments like this are why, I think, the myth that Joyce is catholic continues to pop up. The large family where the parents don’t seem to know about birth control is a catholic stereotype. Which may itself be so prevalent because of Monty Python. IRL, the Catholic families I’ve met have been fairly restrained while it was the groups closer to Carol’s faith who had the huge families like this.
Well I assume contraceptives classify as “WHATEVER the hell they’re doing”
Sure, but that still implies that she doesn’t know what those are. I usually say “whatever the hell” when I don’t know something’s name.
I think she was aiming for maximum crudeness here. Condoms and DIU go into the “whatever the hell” category for that reason.
Ah, people who think their offspring owe them children. God I hate those people.
Doesn’t this universe’s Joyce have 5 brothers? How have none of them managed to give her parents grandkids yet?
Four brothers. Jocelyne still exists in this ‘verse as well.
My guess is:
– Jocelyne: We know she exists, and we know from Word of Willis she’s straight, which means it’s pretty likely she won’t be reproducing by accident.
– Jonathan: Guessing he’s unmarried so far if a spouse isn’t mentioned. If he’s still as fundie as in DOA, no sex before marriage is something he actually believes in. If not… honestly I suspect everyone in this family is as done with Carol’s bullshit as we are and he’s claiming this anyway.
– Jordan: We know nothing about Jordan, so let’s say he’s aro-ace. (And though there’s no way Carol would understand and accept this in the mid-2000s, or frankly ever, he has said that he’ll leave the second she mentions some nice woman he should date or other such bullshit and has followed through on that two or three times, probably while Joyce was ‘dead’ or busy.)
– Justin: Gay.
– Jared: Got a vasectomy basically as soon as he could.
jocelyne is busy being way too good for this fucking family
Yeah I’d skip Thanksgiving too if I thought it’d be this inappropriate. Meet the little sister’s inlaws later.
So, why wasn’t Jocelyne there? Was that idea already present, even if it wouldn’t get expressed until DoA?
I just noticed Sal’s there
I’d imagine SHE would’ve been too busy* for this shit also
*for appropriate definitions of “busy”
Seeing Sal with her head quietly bowed in prayer is… weird. Never noticed her there before.
I just lucked out in that I only drew four silhouette heads. I miscounted the siblings.
Ah yes. My mother was laying out who would stay at the hospital with me in what order when I got pregnant before my spouse even proposed to me — literally two days before, and he almost backed out because of it. I still haven’t told her she’s not allowed in the same state as any future grandkids…
Wait, did Linda die? Did I miss that?
“Busy” is queer cousin code for “ah hell no I ain’t going”.