It’s what’s inside that counts
on October 23, 2018 at 12:01 amAround this time, I was suddenly searching for ways to put Daniel The Dog into panels because clearly he was a castmember I basically forgot existed 99% of the time. (There’s a joke to this effect later.)
Also, dang, Joe, how are you not just a shambling, skeleton-shaped pile of STDs at this point.
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turns out his superpower is superhealth
It’s what’s inside that counts. And what’s inside? Syphilis!
I’d figure HIV would be inside
Joe is surprisingly diligent with condoms, dental dams, and frequent STI tests
Joe may be a total horndog, but he’s a total horndog who knows the value of safe sex.
Okay, so Joe is…24.
How far back do we wanna go back? Age…18? Let’s stick to 18.
2030/6 = ~338 women a year.
Joe more or less needs to be successfully hooking up every single night of his life. Maybe going to weekly parties could get him seven hookups a night?
Unlike Dumbiverse Joe, we know that this Joe has engaged in group-hookups before. “Onscreen”, even.
Yeah, but he’s counting women and not distinct encounters, so we can only count Squad 48 once. Every time he had sex with them after the first, he’d pretty much still need more sex with new partners to maintain that count.
I don’t even want to count how many sexual encounters he’s had WITH those repeats. Seriously, I think we have to assume abductee power and/or a picture in the attic taking on all those infections for him and a really low sperm count or something.
That’s the point of King Daniel’s comment. That’s one (drawn out) encounter that counts for 5.
Which means he’s obviously not opposed to orgies, so he would definitely have a few days a year to skip if he wanted and still make up for lost time all at once.
Sure, but he’s slept with 2030 individual women, which means that Mandy, Grace, Marcie,
TootsieSierra, and Guns only counted the first time.Which also means that, unless we want to assume that Joe was cheating on Squad 48, that number did not go up between December 9 2001 and April 19 2002.
I suspect Squad 48 is totally cool with open relationships.
They’re really not.
@Wackd–doesn’t necessarily follow. My take on it wasn’t that 48 was angry that Joe would sleep with anyone outside Squad 48; I interpreted it as them being pissed that he was cheating on someone else with them.
Squad 48 assumed Joe was not in any serious relationship, and so free to play in their non-committal bedroom games. That was the mutual understanding that letting him join in hinged upon. (They’re hedonists, not jerks).
When it looked like he WAS in a committed relationship, and cheating on a poor girl who had emotional attachments to him, they turned on him quickly.
I don’t think there was any assumption Joe was exclusive to Squad 48.
I mean, they basically started sleeping with him because he was assigned to their squad. That’s hardly a deep emotional attachment.
Also, there’s no reason to think Joe only started having sex at 18, though he may have taken a bit to ramp up to full speed.
The number is pretty clearly still a humorous exaggeration.
I just assume that Joe carries condoms at all times, both to prevent STDs and to make sure he doesn’t get any of the women he has sex with pregnant.
Yeah but by that point? While it’s rare for birth control to fail when used properly, 2% failure under such circumstances is still 40.6. Probably lower taking non-penetrative sex and other birth control into account, but even then you’re talking such a big number that failure is inevitable.
What? Joe would consider something non-penetrative as “sex”?
Not really. Failure rates for contraception aren’t per sex act, but per year of regular use.
Sleeping with many different people doesn’t change those odds over sleeping with one partner many times. (Admittedly, this is a ridiculously high number so the odds would go up, but not by that much.)
“That’s my secret, Cap. I’m always fucking.”
Yet, he hardly takes a day off.
Forget STDs, I wanna know how he’s not a dad at this point.
How do you know that he isn’t?
Very. Very. Careful sex.
The point, Joe? The point is that most of your friends find it worrying that you don’t seem to realise your philandering ways are maybe antisocial!
I’m amused at how this lines up with the current storyline in the GWS reruns, where Hazel freaks out about Zach’s number of prior partners (~300) and Jamie convinces everyone to get tested.
Also this strip marked your 2000th (but technically 2030th) published work, I think.
I dunno, Joe, but you sure look like you’re thinking of grabbing dat ass in the first panel, so maybe you are.
Joe must have Three Stooges Syndrome
Daniel’s tail is like a cat’s tail.