brb, stabbing self forever

Okay, okay, fine.  I’ll make myself read this thing all the way through instead of skimming it, and actually talk about what the fuckin’ hell.

“I am so worthless.”  Man, fuck you, me.  Self-loathing is definitely part of Billie’s character, but I’m pretty sure that at the time I was endorsing it.  Sex is awful and shameful and you should hate yourself for enjoying it.  “I told myself I’d be free, but actually I’m not when I’m having fun, for Reasons.”  What a weird, dumb, specifically Christian lesson Billie learned from Ruth’s death.  The idea that sex and legal drugs and any of your other run-of-the-mill sins tempt you with freeness but are actually a trap is the stupid lesson I had drilled into my brain since I was a child.  “Sure, these things SOUND great and fun, but once you get caught up in them you’ll be having super awesome sex all the time and become a sex hobo and not be able to stop, ever, except with Jesus!”  I’m sorry, Billie.  I’ll put less dumb words into your mouth in another universe.

Check out the virgin writing about sex, folks.