Squad 37, regroup!
on April 16, 2016 at 12:01 amChapter: The Sensitive Scanner
Location: Island in the Bermuda Triangle #3
“Let’s make this storyline super dark,” said the webcartoonist in the late summer of 2001.
Joyce and Walky!
Two xennials live in sin!
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Poor Hooper, dying lonely and also a virgin.
Monkey Master killed his lonely!
And the rest of him!
Well, at least that makes it canon that he didn’t actually rape Dina back in his inauspicious debut.
Attempted rape is still pretty bad.
Technically the “debut” was kicking in the door, “PREPARE FOR ASS KICKEN” etc
The creepy shit (that all parties involved thought was funny at the time) came later.
…and if anyone wants a direct link to that strip:
Prepare for Ass Kicken!
Poor Hooper, dying without ever having had his chance to transfer out of virology. He always wanted to be a bacteriologist instead.
Bloody hell.
well, it’s certainly not bloody HEAVEN is it
(is Hell really that bloody? I imagine all liquid would evaporate in a lake of fire)
It depends on what circle you get damned to.
Just being pedantic, but in most Christian cosmology Hell is not the same as the Lake of Fire.
tell that to all the “Christians” who tell people like me we’ll burn
Well, depends. Are you a treacherous advisor, or an heretic?
why can’t I be both?
i like how the dude on the left with the fro is all “good grief!” charlie brown style
It’s not that dark, there are plenty of colours. Like red, for instance.
First dead blue monkeys, now dead red monkeys, very colorful.
Don’t worry guys It’s Walky follows Dragon Ball z rules of dying
Too bad they don’t go Super Saiyan, that would be cool.
Danny is killed by Head Alien
Walky: I won’t let you…I won’t let you….
Are those the same rules as One Piece? Mortal wounds always get wrapped with bandages for 10 or so episodes, and then the character is okay again.
Would be nice to see these guys as background extras in Dumbing of Age.
Dumbing of Age doesn’t have Walkyverse characters who are directly based on real people.
Joyce was based off Willis! That counts, right?
Not true; I’ve been in both. HA! It’s CANON, yo! ;P
I think you and I count as Shortpacked!verse
I wonder what Hooper thought of Hooper’s untimely death…
It’s funny because I remember seeing it at like, 4:30 in the morning when I got to work and thinking “whoa, did I piss Walky off or something?” I think Hooks and I talked about trying to fake out the readers. He was going to claim that I had stolen Walky’s girlfriend (or vice versa) and killing “me” off was some kind of kiss-off. We didn’t actually do that, but I remember people were kind of shocked by it.
The other thing that hasn’t really been talked about here on a meta level is that the Hooper character was kind of a weird sleeper fan favorite, and Willis ended up using him in some promotional stuff for Keenspot or Keenspace or whatever, he showed up in… maybe Funny Farm and some other webcomic? People would ask him to use Hooper and he’d ask me and I’d okay it and maybe suggest dialogue. It’s been fifteen years now so it sort of comes back to me as I write the comment, but yeah, It’s Hooper showed up in a bunch of other ancillary stuff that hasn’t been posted here.
I think someone on the forums wrote fanfic about him, which was kind of flattering and weird.
Anyway, the character was a cartoon dipshit version of my 20-year-old dipshit self. Look at how fucked up and weird Willis’s ideas about gender, violence, religion, etc. were, and then keep in mind that I was his “cool” friend who’d actually had sex and wouldn’t shut up about either A: how much sex I was having at the time or B: how I wasn’t having sex with anyone right now and PLEASE KILL MY LONELY. This isn’t meant to be like WHOA LOOK HOW COOL I ACTUALLY WAS GUYS or anything like that. I was kind of a shitty dude who, like many shitty college dudes, was primarily concerned with Transformers and gettin’ my dick wet. So, you know, “basically Joe”.
So yeah, when people are like “when is Hooper going to appear in Dumbing of Age?” the answer is generally “DoA Willis is a famous cartoonist, DoA Hooper is a hipster professor at some university in the South. There’s no reason for either one of them to actually show up on campus.”
Holy shit, that went long.
Anyway, I’m glad to answer questions about what I remember about this stuff.
Being a professor honestly sounds like a fun hook for a modern!Hooper cameo as a guest lecturer.
I mean, he wouldn’t look much like or behave like IW!’s Hooper, so maybe there wouldn’t be a huge point in doing so, but those sorts of behind-the-scenes nods always tickle me. Like if DoA Amber mentioned having once had a brief crush or encounter that made her question if she was into women while Wednesday White walked by in the background.
Eh. It’s not a big deal to me. I guess Leslie could teach something I wrote? W/E.
Oh yeah. Squad 37 were a bunch of other robot nerds we hung out with who are all grown up boring people now. Fitz is married and works at a bank, Zack works in IT or something, and I haven’t heard from Max or Lith in at least five years.
I was very particularly with Walky about all of these things. Fitz was supposed to be the Heavy Weapons dude with a M60 machine gun, Lith was The Girl and had the Robot Dick Cannon (seriously, look at that thing), Max was The Crazy One, and Zack was The Quiet One and I think he was supposed to be a demolitions expert or something.
Oh, it’s not that bad. (Spoilers) He gets better…then worse. But for a time, better.
My first thought as the comic was loading was “Ooh, colorful Sunday strip!” As I finished the comic, I was like, “Whoa. Okay, I need a second.” That did indeed get dark.
You never see the giant robot monkey with your name on it…. Uh wait…?
Hey, you guys killed at least three Aliens, I’d say that makes you even.
Webcomics used to go from weird humor to very much dark pretty frequently back then.
It’s Walky!’s rapid swinging from goofy hijinks to really dark violent sequences was genuinely one of the best parts of the entire series.
So MM picked him up with his right hand, but then crushed him with his left?
Behold, the wonders of articulated elbows.
(Allowing both of one’s hands to interact and pass stuff to each other.)
JESUS CHRIST THIS GOT DARK OUT OF NOWHERE