Oh god, Jared From Subway.  Whyyy.

Did you know Jared Fogle went to Indiana University?  Did you know Jared Fogle lived in Read Hall?  Did you know that Jared Fogle is essentially my age?  Did you know that this means it’s NOT INCREDIBLY UNLIKELY that either I lived in the same dorm hall at the same time as him in college, or even that I possibly inherited his old room when I came in as a freshman after he’d moved offcampus to live over a Subway and rent out VHS tapes of pornography?!?!

What I’m saying is, this strip is based on me buying an actual $2 three-pound bag of Smarties and living off it for a week.  That’s what I’m saying.  That’s all that I’m saying.  There is nothing additional to say.