Head Alien Prime
on April 27, 2021 at 12:01 amCharacters: Assorted Future Kids, Bets Sarazu, Bo Wilcox, Brock Doc, David Walkerton, Head Alien II, Jason Chesterfield, Joyce Brown, Mac Oh Lee, Perry Brown
Location: Professor Doc's lab
I’m besieged by children from our future
Teach them well and have them kick our butts
Throw them all through portals that send them through time
Give them a vest jetpack to make it easier
Let the children’s freckles narrow down who their parents be
Because the greatest fight of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest fight of all
Inside SEMME
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*Checks the tags* Shit, there’s a Faz Offspring here? That is terrifying.
Also, I find that song filk delightful and I’d already been loving the storyline title but this is beautiful.
What’s the tune it’s meant to be sung to?
The Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston.
Top left of the offspring group shot. There’s a triangle smile with no eyes. That’s definitely a Faz.
BETS SARAZU
I’m so happy that there is canonically a universe where Becky and Dina got married and had a kid. Here’s hoping she doesn’t die (please no spoilers, I haven’t read this stuff before)!
I choose to assume that for every masked brainwashed kid that accidentally ended up in the wrong timeline, there’s at least one version of themselves in a similar but not quite identical universe who ended up in the right timeline.
When you already have myriad universes where Machete Walkerton (or closest equivalent) exists, gets sent to the future, and is kidnapped and in need of rescue, it’s not THAT big a stretch, is it?
I wonder if younger Willis ever read Umbrella Academy.
It was being published around this time period I think.
**tries to match unique tag names with faces**
**has aneurysm**
**has to use autocorrect for the spelling of aneurism and isn’t sure which of the two given options is correct**
**is ded**
Okay, so lemme see if I can match tags to kids. From left to right…
1. Bo Wilcox. Would probably be the child of Danny and… going by the freckles, Ruth? Or possibly Howard, if Joe can whip up the necessary technology. None of these three were abductees in the main Walkyverse, but with alternate universes you never know.
2. Mac Oh Lee. Obviously Faz’s kid, though I’m at a loss as to the other parent. Hopefully not Amber, Rose, or Zaph! Interesting that they share what I thought was Faz’s middle name, but which appears to be part of the family name given the connection.
3. Perry Brown. Obviously Joyce’s smile, and Jason’s hair. Likely has an absolutely atrocious fake American accent that is surprisingly improved in audio plays made many years later.
4. Brock Doc. Previously established to be the child of Professor Doc and a female clone of himself. Which just leaves…
5. Bets Sarazu. The name would seem to imply Becky and Dina as parents! Yay! I’m guessing she was originally meant to be Joyce’s kid, but Becky has pretty much the same hair as her in this universe so it’s a reasonable enough retcon. I know something similar happens with Jocelyne at some point down the line.
Did I get it right?
Seems about right to me. Guessing Bets’ original parentage was probably meant to be Joyce/Howard or the like since, again, freckles, but who knows. By now, likely not even Willis.
Maybe a Danny in one of his alien-fighting adventures iterations ended up needing a Martian resurrection chamber, to explain Bo? Though that still raises the question of which abductee decided to reproduce with FAZ. (He’s too young to have been an abductee, so that limits the pool significantly unless Galasso decided to start using Martian technology for more actively supervillainous ends.)
How old is this particular strip? I know Jocelyne appears in the last storyline of J&W even though she’s a DoA original; is it possible Bets’s parents are exactly who they appear to be? In other words, could this have been drawn after Willis decided Dina and Becky would be a couple someday?
It’s from 2009, so before DOA began.
I know he had planned from the start of DOA that Becky would return as a main cast member, freshly out of the closet and finally aware of romantic love for Joyce. I think that was the last thing he planned ahead tho? I don’t know if he included the Dina romance in that
Thanks!
As TheKelliestKelly said, Becky being gay was very possibly planned by now but the Dina romance is more questionable. Jocelyne’s retcon was in the final set of strips published after Shortpacked’s ending, and worked because she had appeared earlier in the finale storyline but in a way her outfit could be changed from presumed pants to a skirt. By that point (2014, 2015 or so?) Jocelyne was well-established in DoA canon.
Thanks for the info!
So we now have official IDs of everyone’s parents from Willis via Tumblr:
Bo’s are Danny and Ruth, Mac’s are Faz and Wen, Perry’s are Jason and Anti-Joyce, Brock’s are actually Professor Doc and Dina (this is an alternate Brock from the one linked above) and Bets’s are Becky and Dina.
Slow clap. Verse *and* chorus!
Oh no! The future kids are going to challenge our intrepid heroes to a game of Calvin Ball!
*Sees the last panel* ‘Oh, lord, is that a Faz kid? That can’t be a Faz kid. Do this lot even know Faz?’
*Reads the tags* ‘AUGH! IT’S A FAZ KID!!!’
I’m actually kinda glad we get to see Brock Doc again. Not sure I want to know what pairing produced that future kid of Faz and someone else.
Annnd… Ultracar gets left out again. Speciesism in it’s purest form. UC would claim it was proof of her superiority while betraying her real feelings through childish misbehavior.
I’m guessing Heady figured (probably correctly) that she was impossible to brainwash, and just didn’t bother trying. If there was an Ultra Car who got sent back, she’s probably been killed, or at the very least turned to scrap.
[SPOILERS] considering we get to see what happens when HAII and UC throw down anyway, I’m not gonna say that’s not likely
Yes, but she could be … carwashed!