Dibs.
on June 21, 2019 at 12:01 amChapter: The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Characters: David Walkerton, Jason Chesterfield, Jennifer Billingsworth, Joyce Brown, Martians, Mike Warner, Tony McHenry
Location: Final battle wasteland
See? Mike has uses!
Billie’s here because, well, she needs something to do in this finale, and Walky’s her oldest friend, so it makes sense that this is where she finds herself.
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Jason could try
TABERNACLE
I forget how Jason Survives the fall.
Never mind the fall, how did he survive a kick that forceful?
Probably because it was more of a forceful push than a sudden impact. If this was realistic he would have snapped in half at the pelvis, but since it’s a cartoon we can chalk this up to the MST3K principle.
he kicked Jason off and Jason likely has body armor under his turtleneck…he’ll have cracked ribs from the impact of the kick but is otherwise OK
“His heart is too strong.”
And suddenly Celine Dion starts singing on the soundtrack, and all the walkyfans start screaming about how the movie has betrayed the comic.
thanks a lot, now I have Celine singing in my head!
Gore, blood,
Your TOOOOOURNIQUET’S crud,
‘Cuz you know that my heart is too strong!
Jason, I believe the line you’re looking for is “YYYEAAAAAHHHH-HA-HA-HOOEEEEYYYY”.
I was gonna suggest this scream, but that one’s better.
Wouldn’t crushing the wound just make more places where it bleeds?
Also just be really damn bad for him in terms of actual medicine?
You’re supposing crises make people think MORE clearly
WELLL… compression does stop bleeding. Crushing tissue, on the other hand, tends to lead to all sorts of toxic chemicals in the blood as the tissue decomposes. Of course, that’s a “tomorrow” problem, so it might be a “this will allow Walky to live past the next 30 seconds or so” thing.
NOTE: I’m an English teacher, so my medical knowledge is fairly minimal. I learned about Crush Syndrome from Doctor House MD, so grain of salt.
in my eyes crushing = clamping, which I know from personal experience is done with gushing wounds…they don’t have enough flesh for a tourniquet, so they have to get a bit crude and clamp his flesh hard to stem the blood flow