Sixteen, ninety-eleven
on September 7, 2021 at 12:01 amChapter: The Wedding
Characters: Anthony McHenry III, Anthony Mitchell, Assorted Future Kids, Bets Sarazu, Brock Doc, Daniel Rosenthal, Donna Warner, Dorothy Keener, Head Alien, Mac Oh Lee, Paige Walters, Perry Brown
Location: The Wedding Church
Dang I gotta name a handful more Assorted Future Kids, don’t I. Most of them are returning, but there’s one or two new ones, you see.
And a special guest. She existed in Shortpacked! at this point. Again, an advantage to doing this story now versus earlier.
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my mind momentarily inserted the wrong character, and I was like, wait, that’s the end and this is the beginning
oops
Before I spend ages trying to figure out who’s who in the Kid Grid, I have to ask: should they really be that worried about the open bar? I mean these kids are supposed to be from, what, 2029? And this has to be… sometime in 2009, judging by the whole “Obama baby” thing, meaning they’d have to be about 1 year old already, and almost none of the characters in the present have kids yet…
except of course for the fact that they’ve been stuck here in the past for, like, two years, so I guess they would need to be born in 2011, which is… more likely. Come to think of it getting them drunk would probably be counterproductive to Headorothy’s plans aaaaand I’m way overthinking this. Am I weird for actually waiting until I was 21 to drink? I probably am
Hi Donna!
Also I can’t look at a 3×3 grid of faces without thinking of Megaman. I can’t do it. Perry Brown there looks like he’s deciding which of his comrades to assassinate and steal abilities from first.
It definitely has a ‘choose your fighter’ vibe.
With Ann B. Davis as… Perry Brown?
I mean, if any of them actually have their ID from the future on them the bartender’s DEFINITELY not gonna buy it.
But mostly it’s banter. Or HA’s planning on raiding the reception after he kills everyone he wants to, and billing them after. I could buy either.
HA/Dorothy: …Sydney Yus!
Robin: Who?
Sydney: Oh come on!
I have never read this before, but NGL if Sydney shows up this might become my favorite arc ever.
Granted, I think that Headorothy is actually talking about… a certain thing which had already been established (in Shortpacked!) to have taken place during the wedding. You know the one (unless you don’t).
Oh dang, one of those is Donna Warner? Panel 7, I assume.
So let’s see if I can sort these kids out. L-R, top to bottom:
1. Brock Doc. An extremely squicky Professor Doc x Dina kid, as established previously.
2. Bets Sarazu. An extremely un-squicky Becky x Dina kid, as established previously.
3. Daniel Rosenthal. I’m guessing a Joe/Danny kid? I mean personally I never understood straight-up giving kids your own name thing but we already know there are universes where Danny has done this.
4. The Great Mac Oh Lee. The Great Mac is the son of the Great Faz and the Great Wen, who will be more than happy to demonstra– OKAY stopping there. Changes in character model since his last appearance make him seem less Fazzy, but fear not for his Fazziness still shines through. In the dark, as Faz watches you silently
5. Perry Brown. A… possibly non-consensual Jason x Anti-Joyce kid, if we go by the one interaction they had in the main timeline, as established previously.
6. This is literally just Tony. Like, straight-up just Tony. Just look at him. I’m gonna say he’s the Linda X Tony kid mentioned in this strip, which would make him… Anthony Mitchell. I’m doing this not because anything about him looks like Linda (she seems to have contributed to his appearance about as much as Toedad did to Becky… or Tony’s never-seen mother did to him), but because the only other candidate (Panel 8) is clearly not Linda’s. I highly doubt this was in any way even remotely consensual on Tony’s part. (also really wish we could have more than one link)
7. I mean gee I really dunno, who could this possibly be? ITS A MYSTERY but seriously if there’s one silver lining to all the delays with this arc (that I never had to put up with because I started reading in 2020, so I’m not a REEEEEAL FAN), it’s getting to see characters from the actual canon future in here. Honestly if the Walkyverse ever makes a comeback seeing more of Donna might just be what I’d look forward to most.
8. Anthony McHenry III. Preeetty sure, anyway. He looks like the Tony x Canadian!Walky kid who was among the first of the future kids to show up back when Alternate D.J. entered the plot. I’d link, but I only get one per comment, so WYGD
9. Paige Walters. A Jason x Sal kid, as established previously. It amuses me to no end that she looks exactly like pre-face-shape-change Dorothy. Who already looks identical to Amber but blonde. Seriously how did this happen
I give you two point five kudos for the work, kind person!
Since sexuality is canonically a constant across the entire Walkyverse, unless Joe is confirmed bi/pan my guess would be that Daniel Rosenthal is one of the two dozen previously-mentioned-by-HAII Joe/[random female partner] or gender-swapped Joe/[random male partner] kids, whom he decided to name after his friend. That, or it’s a Joe/gender-swapped Danny or Danny/gender-swapped Joe kid (either of which could fit into one of the two previous mentioned-by-HAII categories.
Is it wrong that I keep hoping Donna shows up as a background extra in DoA? Obviously she wouldn’t be Amber and Mike’s kid over there, but just as a one-time gag waiting at the bus stop or something.
If she does show up waiting at a bus stop as a one-time gag, I’d like to hope we see Aslan waiting there too somehow.
It’s going to be someone carrying a boxset of the Narnia books. When that someone gets on the bus, they’ll have accidentally left behind the one with Aslan on the cover.
Maybe he can be represented by a large longhair cat on a leash, or a golden retriever or something.
It isn’t without precedent, Carla is a peer of Joe & Rachel rather than their kid. But Ultra-Car is both a much more significant character and a much more independent one, she’s got stuff going on beyond being the kid of major cast members so you can afford to drop that one aspect. She’s very much the exception
I thought Brock Doc was Doc/a female clone of himself? Still squicky, but marginally less so than Dina since presumably said clone was likewise on board with clone fucking.
Brock Doc is a Dina’s, but if I remember right there is a seperate Doc kid whose mom was an opposite sex clone
There are at least two different Brock Docs. One is a Doc/female!Doc kid, the other is a Doc/Dina kid.
Riiiight. I just excised that memory from my brain. Ick.
Emotional suckerpunch™
This is the point when I realized how much I’d missed the original Head Alien.